I love Twitter. I can’t say that enough. It’s such a great tool for so many different reasons. You can use it to develop your joke writing, interact with celebrities who otherwise wouldn’t give you a second glance, or just read what everyone else is doing. The problem is that after some time it becomes more of a chore than an enjoyment. Since next week I will have been on Twitter for one year I thought I’d share with you 5 ways to make sure you have fun on there. So before you click on the old “DEACTIVATE” button, take a glace over this list and see if it might help you too.
1. Don’t worry about follower counts. There’s always going to be someone with more followers than you that’s, in your opinion, less deserving than you. Don’t sweat it. If it makes you feel any better Will Ferrell parody accounts have 100K+ followers and they’re absolutely awful. MensHumor which may be the worst collection of words in the English language have millions of followers MILLIONS! Meanwhile fantastic accounts like @eliterry @nickschug and @conortripler have a fraction of that. Does that make them less funny? Nope. Does that make MensHumor more funny? NOPE. It happens. Rob Schneider has TV shows. Jay Leno is famous. Dane Cook is adored. If you try to figure out why you’ll kill yourself. Ignore it and do your thing.
2. Star whatever you like. Favstar is great. I use it. I star stuff I like when I can and I’ve found some great accounts on there. Of course there are people who star every single thing to get stars in return but who cares. Don’t sweat it. I know we’re programmed as children to work hard to get little gold stars but guys, it means nothing. No one has ever said “WOWZA! Look how many stars this guy has! OPEN MOUTH KISS ME I’M A HOT GIRL!” or “50 STARS?? Please come write for SNL!” If you want to star a thousand things a day go for it, if you want to star nothing hooray!
3. Don’t be afraid to unfollow. I know it’s unthinkable but sometimes you have to *gasp* unfollow someone. First consider this; most people that you’re following or that follow you aren’t real life friends. Not all of them but I’m willing to bet a large percentage. That’s fine. But sometimes you just don’t want to read someone’s thoughts anymore. When I joined Twitter I was fresh faced and new to the world. “Oh a bacon tweet! Haha good stuff!” Now I’d rather read a loved ones eulogy than read a tweet about bacon. So I unfollowed some. Are they awful? Nope. Am I? Maybe (I HOPE NOT PLEASE LOVE ME). It’s ok. I’ve unfollowed REAL LIFE FRIENDS. People that come over to my house. People that have held my child because I don’t care about their hashtags and foursquare check-ins. They’re more than welcome to do that, I just don’t want to read it. So why would I worry so much about unfollowing a stranger somewhere in the world that I don’t know if I don’t want to read their thoughts. If you read your timeline and DREAD seeing a certain avi pop up, get rid of it. It’s ok I promise!
4. Don’t take things personally. If you were upset by that last one, then this is the one for you. Let’s break this down. You’re upset because a stranger somewhere in the world didn’t like reading your thoughts and decided to unsubscribe from them. CUE THE DRAMATIC MUSIC, THE TITANIC IS SINKING! Guys, it’s ok. A lot of people want to have a career in comedy and yet get soooo upset at an unfollow on Twitter. Yikes. What are you going to do when you get on stage to do stand up and a crowd completely dislikes you? What if you send in a writing packet and an agency turns you down? IT’S OK. It happens. I lose followers if I tweet, I lose followers if I don’t. I don’t enjoy it haha but it happens. You can’t please everyone and if you try to you’re going to be miserable and completely lose your unique voice. If you’re constantly in some kind of “Twitter war” I can bet you’re not enjoying yourself. PS Please keep starting crazy Twitter drama though because it’s so much fun to watch! :)
5. Take a deep breath. If you find yourself getting upset at others or feeling like you’re not being appreciated (LOL) step back from the computer, put the iPhone down (or Android for THOSE people) and go have a piece of fruit. Go to the park. Hang out with real life people. It’s all going to be fine guys. I’ve made a ton of REAL friends from Twitter. Friends that I talk to every single day. We joke about Twitter and make fun of you guys all the time but we also talk about other things in life. Relationships, jobs, sports, how great The Grey was (no matter what Matt Tice says!) because your life can’t revolve around a website. If it does you are going to be a very unhappy, miserable person.
Listen, I don’t know that much, but I have a blast on Twitter. I laugh out loud at some of the jokes, I groan reading some awful ones, and I try my best to just enjoy myself. Hopefully you can do the same! Much love guys!